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A Proper Protocol for a Second Wedding: The Psychology and how it differs from your first.

Writer's picture: Jessica GeorgeJessica George

Updated: Jan 2


Life doesn’t always work out the way we want it to, and that is perfectly okay! Sometimes the lemons are just too sour for your taste to try and make lemonade so naturally, you will switch them. Other times, misfortunes happen, but you feel like you simply need to move to the next chapter. Whatever the reason, a second wedding is a cause for happiness and a fresh start.


The Psychology of the Second Wedding


Because you have already done the wedding thing before, you must be wondering how you can make it right this time around. Even though there are no rules to hosting your big day, this time is different. Lessons have been learned, you have evolved and now you have different priorities. Maybe you have undergone therapy or have had life coaching sessions, the important thing now is - this is a new start. But how do you approach it?


Truth is, things are never easy, but the one thing you can do to ensure hosting a happy second wedding is the following - talk first. Make sure you have solved all the bumps in the way. For example, money always seems like a dirty secret no one likes bringing up. However, in order to walk into this life together, some aspects must be discussed. Maybe you both have children from the first marriage, so child support might be included in the game. Be practical and understanding. Additionally, don’t force the name “mom” or “dad” upon them. If they want to call your future spouse that, it is fine but you must not make them choose. These things need both of your attention if you want to build strong foundations.


Understandably, you both bring emotional baggage from the previous marriage but before deciding on a second wedding, it is good to let your partner know what are your triggers. If you feel like it, you can enroll in couples therapy just to be able to evolve and grow together.


The difference between the First and Second Wedding


After going through all the psychology of a second wedding, you can feel that this time it is going to be different. This time you are more focused on the emotional values, celebrating the new start, and being hopeful for the future. No, we are not telling you that you should change your style and make it something that doesn’t reflect your preferences. Our tip is to do it your way but differently. Why should it be different? Let us put it this way, your life has evolved, so having a second wedding done differently will be a milestone that your mind will distinguish from the past marriage.


For example, you can choose to tie the knot in a destination location, maybe decide not to follow the etiquette so much, make it more intimate and family-centered instead of a big bash, or you can simply throw a celebratory party. Do some things in contrast to the first and infuse it with meaningful details. The details tell your story, so let them narrate your next chapter. That way, the celebration will be more personal and binding. In essence, it will be more about love than about impressing your guests, so make sure you are surrounded by all the people that support and care for you.


We hope we have provided some clarity on the subject of second weddings and their psychology. If you feel like you have a few bumps in your way or that you need life coaching sessions, head over to our services section and schedule your therapy appointment. We are also available for hire as Key-Note Speakers about Relationships, so let’s chat! hello@evolvetherapycoaching.com Insta: @evolvetherapycoaching

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